Our plan began
It began innocently
enough in the breakfast room at the Residence
Inn by Marriott where the whole family was staying. Since
I wanted to visit and write about the Royal
Canadian Mint I had arranged for a private tour of the
facility and introduced my plan over french toast and scrambled
eggs that morning.
exclaimed my son-in-law, Terry. 'They have a gold bar there
that is worth a gazillion dollars. Boy, I'd love to have that
At the mention
of a gold bar we had the kids' full attention. They listened
wide-eyed to Uncle Terry's description that he'd never have
to work again if he had that gold.
'Well,' I said,
'Why don't I divert the guide's attention with my interview
questions and Uncle Terry can grab the gold bar and run?'
Now the kiddies
were fully involved. They offered their own suggestions for
making the heist work. We listened to each idea and explained
why it may or may not work. We (bad adults) never, ever explained
that stealing was not a good thing to do.
to the children, Grandma called the Mint, spoke to our private
guide, let her in on our robbery plan and asked her to include
something in her talk that would foil our family's plan.
she said. 'I have the perfect idea.'
We took a taxi
to the scene of the crime. We asked our taxi driver if he
would be our getaway vehicle and promised to share some of
our new found fortune with him. He agreed wholeheartedly.
The kids were so excited they could barely stay in their seat
Once we arrived
Terry interviewed the security guard at the entrance. Our
young potential bandits listened with wide eyes as the guard
told us that, (1) Yes, he had a gun (2) He never leaves his
post unless another guard takes his place. The kids looked
at one another uneasily and began whispering to each other.
We, adults, pretended not to notice.
We posed for
pictures outside the Mint and then quickly went in to meet
our friendly Royal Canadian Mint guide. Honestly, I've never
seen my grandchildren so anxious to begin a tour. I'll bet
visions of new computers, Barbie Dolls, and humongous allowances
danced in their dishonest little heads.
The guide began
by ushering our group over to see that famous gold bar worth
millions of dollars. It was connected by a huge chain to the
concrete base it was set on. She became very serious (and
playing her part in our scenario) she explained that the Mint
had, had to shut down tours for a long time that morning.
'You see this
chain?,' she asked the children directly. 'We had to install
it this morning because our security spies in the breakfast
room at the Residence Inn by Marriott heard that a family
was planning to steal the gold.' And then she paused —never
taking her eyes off my larcenous grandkiddies.
Ten year old
Joshua's jaw dropped, and with a wild look in his eye said,
'Grandma, how did they know?'
at seven, is the youngest said over and over again, 'It wasn't
us.' 'It wasn't us.'
Lotus, at nine
remained stoic, said nothing but looked to me for my reaction.
I tried to
look as surprised as everyone else but inside I was chortling
and could barely contain myself. Success was mine. I think
the slogan, 'Crime doesn't pay' had taken on new meaning for
taught by Grandma!