Crying babies and inflight spa...

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Executives might want to take advantage of the JWoman Air Spa Center. Preparing for a business trip while juggling other familial responsibilities can be very hectic. Often there isn't enough time to have your hair cut or your toenails painted prior to departure. At JWoman Air we would remove every bit of that stress. Our in-flight spa would offer passengers every imaginable service and payment would be stress-free as well. JWoman Air would accept the currencies from any country you've ever travelled to as well as travellers cheques, credit cards and JWoman Air frequent flyer points.

Lite Meals...

At JWoman Air we needn't serve the same type of meals to all our passengers, nor would serving times be the same for each person aboard. Instead, prior to flying, we would allow passengers to pick their own meal times and food choices from our jwomanair.com website. What will it be? Vegetarian, Kosher, Asian stirfry or salade bar? Simply log on, key in your flight number, food choice and time of service and it would be taken care of by our inflight kitchen staff. And, if JWoman Air ever made a mistake with your order, your next flight would be free.

Culturally correct duty free...

Each JWoman airplane scheduled for overseas flight would be equipped with a separate duty-free shopping area complete with dressing rooms. This is where our female passengers would be able to purchase their culturally correct clothing. Going to India? They might want to purchase a salwar-kameez or an elegant sari. Heading for Israel? They'll need to cover their head at the sacred Western Wall and JWoman Air would show them how to do it with flare.

Films...

Of course, when you fly with JWoman Air you can expect that movies will be shown on all flights of three hours or more. And, each of the films screened would have to pass very stringent criteria. It should be a film that husbands, boyfriends or pals refused to see because of it's "girl" content and it must be a film that will make women cry at least once during the screening. It needn't have a great script but the leading man should be very lovely to look at, and romantic themes that end well are a must. As a bonus, generous helpings of lo-fat popcorn will be served throughout the screenings. Need a refill? No problem, one only has to push the call button and a flight attendant will be there instantly.

Fabulous baggage attendants...

Finally, once the plane touches down at its destination, JWoman Air would eliminate all possible airport hassles. As passengers made their way to the baggage area, each would be met by a fabulously lovely baggage attendant. Point out your luggage, he will lift it off the conveyor belt. Hand him your passport and he will see you through customs. Once outside, he will hail a cab, load your luggage into the trunk, give you a big hug, wish you a happy trip and send you on your way.

God bless JWoman Air!

Ed. note: Wondering what JWoman Air would do about misdirected luggage? That's easy. If your bags don't arrive when they should, simply fill out the customary form and then collect a small survival kit from the JWoman kiosk at the airport. Designed to make you feel better it will contain a roomy T-shirt for sleeping in, a steamy romance novel, a lavender scented candle to soothe your spirit and a few decadent chocolate bars -- just because. Now, stop worrying. JWoman Air has never, ever lost a bag!