She's Divorced, She Travels Solo
Canadian Journeywoman,
Barb Brown is an older adventuress who, via divorce, has learned the
value of solo travel. Based on diaries she kept while on the road,
this is her story. She hopes it will inspire other single women to
get out there and try at least one solo journey. Barb writes...
| I fell in love
with my future husband when I was fourteen; my marriage fell apart
when I was forty-two. That for a bride of the Fifties, translated
into twenty-eight years of one partner, one romance and many,
many years of togetherness. For as long as I could remember, I
moved to the demanding rhythm of my family. I knew no other music
and no other dance steps. Then suddenly there was silence. I was
alone. That first year is now a blur of tears, loneliness and
mental adjustment. |
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I carried one
small bag...
I have not offered the
above information to elicit sympathetic murmurs and empathetic
gestures. If you can appreciate the devastation I experienced,
then you will also understand the dynamic feeling that began
with the purchase of my airline ticket. I was forty-three and
I was going to Europe alone, all by myself, solo. Certainly
I had travelled before. But then I was the wife of a successful
businessman who accepted the best addresses. Now I carried
one small bag, one very small packet of travellers cheques and
absolutely no itinerary.
The next thirty-five days
were laden with intense emotion and storybook adventure. I soared
in the heavens and wallowed in the depths. My love was no longer
there to hold my hand. Now it was I, the single woman, who enjoyed
the pleasures and coped with the pain. Land travel was by train
and buses. A rented car would only spell unnecessary expense
and solitude. Accommodation was at pensions and small hotels
for the bigger the hotel, the more insular the experience.
I
saw parts of Belgium, England, Greece and Turkey. There was
no time to be frightened and no need. I met people on
the train; I chatted in restaurants; I stopped in cafés.
I was on the road for five weeks and only five evenings were
spent alone.
I lived with an Australian
midwife for a fortnight in Stratford, England. During that time
we shared precious secrets as only two females can.
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The music
had not stopped...
I
shared the last available hotel room on the island of Hydra
with a young flight attendant from Panama. For three days he
was a companion who discretely left the room when it was time
for me to dress. It hurt to say good-bye.
I haggled in the bazaars
of Istanbul. I ate mussels in Antwerp with a flight crew of
Jordan's airlines. An English engineer taught me to drink bitters,
and a marriage counsellor from New York writes to me still.
In major cities, I stood out in long lines of young people collecting
their mail at American Express offices.
There were good days. There
were bad days. I experienced highs and I cried alone. I was
single again after so many years. The music had not stopped.
The melody was simply changing. This, I began to understand,
was only the beginning.
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Ten
years later...
It was during that first
journey more than a decade ago that I began to understand how
good solo travel can be for the heart and soul. Extending my
time on the road from five weeks that first time, I have spent
up to four months at a stretch away from home.
I have learned to value
my anonymity at foreign destinations. Free to wander at will,
I seek out that which gives me pleasure. There is no need for
the sort of compromise that exists in one's regular day-to-day
living.
Lonely? Sometimes. But
loneliness is nothing to fear. It has not broken my heart yet.
Rather it affords me the time to unpack the emotional baggage
I carry with me and to use the time to journey into myself.
Issues become a lot clearer when there are no other distractions.
Eventually one feels renewed and then there is a real need to
reach out and make contact with others -- another traveller,
a shopkeeper, an official, perhaps a mother walking her baby
in the park. 
The result? I've heard
countless wonderful stories and have had a myriad of lovely
adventures to match. All because I am a woman who refuses to
be timid and who has learned, by trial and error, the benefits
of solo travel. And when I am ninety and sitting in my rocking
chair, I know that I will be grinning, remembering my past exploits.
And that, dear readers, makes me very, very happy!
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More solo
travel motivation...
If you need further motivation
to try solo travel, here are a few more links you might like
to follow...
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