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She
Deals With Loneliness on the Road
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 I
talk to myself...
I travelled solo to Spain and was staying for one month,
so I posted a note for a travelling companion. I got a response
from a man (gay and perfect!) who could meet up and travel
with me. We got along really well, but he went to Greece
while I had another five days of holiday left. I never thought
I would feel disoriented and alone on my first trip to Europe
but there I was feeling really blue. I was getting so desperate
that I even tried to change my return ticket, but to no
avail. The weather was rainy and cold, not the ideal for
touring around. I decided to really push myself and go beyond
what I ever thought I was capable of. I checked the weather
report that night, found a warm and sunny climate in the
southeast of Spain and the next morning, I boarded a train
and headed for the sun. It was not as exciting as it might
have been had I been travelling there with someone else,
but given the circumstances, 'wasting' five days in the
south of Spain was not so bad.
Travelling
solo can be lonely, but that is part of the experience.
In retrospect, I had a great time and I would do the same
thing again. I'm so glad that I couldn't change my ticket
and come back to Canada. I'd feel like such a whip if I
had to tell people that I couldn't find anything to do in
Spain so I came home early. I send my greetings and support
to all the JourneyWomen out there who have the opportunity
to go on a trip even if you do get lonely.
Kathy, Canada |
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I
give myself options...
Loneliness
on the solo-travel road gives you two options, both of which
can be fun. First, you could just go with it. Pour out your
heart in a journal with a glass of wine or two. But then
treat yourself to a lazy and pampered evening in your hotel,
giving yourself a facial, manicure and bubble bath. Shop
for the supplies you need at a local pharmacy or department
store.
The second
option is to fight lonely feelings with action. Talk with
your hotel desk staff, the local tourist office staff (or
a local newspaper if you read the language) and find out
what entertainment options are available. Then buy a ticket
and attend the cultural event that most appeals to you -
theater, dance, jazz, symphony or neighborhood piano bar.
Once there, initiate conversations with the people near
you - easy to do with an opening line of, "Excuse me,
I'm new here and I wonder if you could tell me..."
Sharon, Atlanta, USA
Ed. note:
Sharon is the publisher
of www.travelaloneandloveit.com so you can't get better
advice than that. |
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I
join clubs...
I've been studying
in Australia for the past 3-4 months and I found that joining
different clubs made a big difference. I'm not your average
age student (I'm 44) and to have moved to a completely different
world (I'm Canadian) was quite a challenge. But I joined a
bushwalking club and a cycling club and that keeps me busy
enough on the weekends and I don't feel so homesick.
Anita, a Canadian in Australia |
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I
practiced solo dining...
Dining solo
requires practice. A woman contemplating traveling solo can
start by dining solo in her hometown and then moving out to
test her skills on day trips to neighbouring towns. Honestly,
this works! This way she will be used to entering a restaurant
solo, negotiating a decent table and ordering and eating with
(not 'by') herself. A book or magazine to thumb through is
a good prop, even a small notebook where she can take notes
is good. I use my solo dinner meals as a time to write notes
and feelings about the day. P.S.
I never worry about the idea that people are seeing
me alone. Judging from the bored looks on some of their faces,
I think they might rather be alone, too.
Nancy,
Los Angeles, USA. |
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I
stay in hostels or smaller hotels...
I have traveled
solo for more than 15 years, and know that loneliness (or
fear of it) is something that stops many women from setting
off on fabulous adventures. Here are just a few of my recommendations
to combat that awful feeling of being along.
(1) Never
enter a restaurant without a book or journal. Instead of
sitting and staring at the wall while waiting for your meal,
you can keep yourself occupied and feel less self conscious.
(2) Take yourself
out. One of the ways to combat loneliness is to refuse to
let it control your actions. So don't eat at the cheapest
restaurant in town hiding your head in shame. Put on your
nicest dress and take yourself to the best hotel in town.
If you can't afford to eat the restaurant, buy yourself
one drink in the lounge. I've done this in places as far
away as Rangoon and Hanoi and it never fails to make me
feel special.
(3) Join
small group day tours. One of the ways I consistently meet
others is by taking short tours. For example, a day tour
of Lake Titicaca in Bolivia set me up with a number of Argentinean
and Brazilian travelers who accompanied me for the next
several days.
(4) Stay
in smaller hotels or hostels. They're much friendlier places.
You might ask to join a table of people at breakfast or
sit in the lounge in the evening and see if anyone asks
to join you.
(5) While
you're away, take a class or language lessons. Most schools
set up events to get people together. And you will surely
meet others in class.
(6)
I keep telling myself that there are just too many
places to go and too many people to meet for me to ever
get lonely while I'm traveling!
Sherri, Boston, USA
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