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The Pitfalls of Travelling to Find Mr. Right


Evelyn Hannon

Cyber dating has definitely become an acceptable form of meeting a potential partner. Yet while it's hard enough meeting Mr. Right in your own backyard, when you begin searching online for love many time zones away the potential for problems becomes enormous. It's not any particular country or any particular culture that becomes a roadblock to a successful union. Rather it's the fact that different cultures and different religions may hold completely different ideas about the status of women and what a marriage contract means. If you plan to live where your internet love lives, find out if the freedoms you enjoy in your own country will be available in the culture you plan to marry into. Finally, is this man who is courting you via cyberspace really who he says he is? It's a prudent idea to educate yourself prior to travelling.

Here are a few Journeywoman tips to possibly guide you in making safe and practical decisions.

Cyberspace in general is imperfect and international cyberdating could hold the potential for danger and disappointment. It's next to impossible to know that the person you are communicating with is, indeed, an unmarried man who is truthfully looking for a female partner. From so far away it's hard to check this man's credentials and emotional stability. You'll find it's a good idea to move forward slowly.


It's common knowledge that for for some men a marriage to a woman living abroad is considered their ticket to a coveted visa from that country. From his point-of-view it may have nothing to do with romance and everything to do with leaving his country and moving into a more prosperous one.


Be careful about revealing personal information to anybody you are networking with.


It is wise to never sell all of your belongings and give up your lease in anticipation of a union that may never happen.


This is important enough to repeat. How this man's culture views issues such as women's rights, custody of children and premarital sex might be very different from what you're used to. Not informing yourself completely could lead to extreme problems at a later date. Talk to women who were born in the country you'll be travelling to. Listen to their stories and advice. Research, research, research.


We suggest you travel with a return ticket, enough money to stay in a hotel and, should problems arise, knowledge of how to contact your country's consulate or embassy at your destination.

EDITOR'S NOTE: In fact, Ginny, a Journeywoman in California writes, 'A male friend was in Romania to marry his wife, and found that one could NOT get into the Embassy without one's passport! I think he had left it at the family's home. Always carry a colour copy of your passport with you so you have the details available should anybody in authority ask for them.


It's always best to meet your possible partner on neutral ground, perhaps in a busy place like a cafe or a museum. On a second or third meeting ask him to introduce you to his friends. Take the extra precaution of leaving a note in your hotel room describing who you are meeting and where this rendez-vous will take place. Include a photo of this man, if possible.


Safeguard your ticket, your money and most importantly, your passport. Don't divulge information concerning personal bank accounts and how to access these accounts.


Get to know this man and his family and friends slowly; return to your home and make your decisions from there. If he is Mr. Right and if he loves you he will wait for you to make up your mind. He should also be happy to visit your family and get to know them before he makes his own decision.


Safe and happy dating everybody!

Marriages around the world...

In Pakistan the bride wears red. She is the only one at the celebration to wear this color.

At the close of a Jewish wedding, the wine glass that the couples drink from during the wedding ceremony is wrapped in a cloth napkin and stamped on and broken by the groom. Nobody else will ever drink from their special glass.

In many Muslim marriages, the bride is not always present when the marriage contract is made. In the presence of two witnesses she gives her dad power of attorney to act on her behalf and he takes care of all the details of the contract.

In Hawaii, the bride wears a loose, long white wedding gown called a holoku. Instead of a veil she wears a garland of flowers on her head.

Long ago, in Scotland if a spider crossed the bride's path on the way to church it was considered good luck.

In Korea, the night before the wedding it used to be tradition for hand lanterns to be lit to brighten the path from the groom's home to the bride's house. Then the groom's dad would carry a chest filled with gifts especially for the bride's family from his house to theirs.






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